Fergie Ferg is Fuglie Fug

Yesterday, one of my dearest friends Becky called me around 3:30 and said..."I have tickets to see Fergie tonight at the Verizon Wireless Theatre here in Houston, do you want to go with me?" I thought...Fergie? Really? I dunno about that one, but what the hell. I said, "Yes, I am leaving now, should be there shortly". OH LORD. Never again, and I will just let all you know. It was one of THE WORST concerts ever.

Homegirl is torn up. The Crystal Meth habit she used to have did not do wonders for her skin or appearance. She has old lady knees and a pooch belly. NOT HOT. The concert was standing room only and it was nothing but a bunch of kids and their "Dina Lohan-esque" parents. We got there early and watched Rooney open for her, which was weird. Nobody knew who the hell they were, expect me and a couple others. Oh well.

THEN, because we were towards the front and I am 6'4" with boots on, this dad was trying to push his daughters to the front, and one of them I graciously let in front of me, but I said..."um, you can go in front of me, but the rest of these people behind you...NO". Then the dad got pissed off and was screaming because his kids couldn't see because I was too tall. Now, this guy was like 5'9" and I turned around with a flared nostril and scowled at him and was like..."dude...if you have a bone saw handy, I will happily take care of my height situation", then this other group of girls that were standing next to us butted in and were like..."STOP pushing, you are making it worse". They got into it a bit, then stopped.

Fergie came on and it was not a cute scene. Her dancers were scary has hell, especially one of the chicks who had hair in her pits...GROSS. We had a cheerleader like that in high school and it was DEEE-sgusting. How Josh Duhamel sleeps with that is beyond me. AND, in case you wanted to know, all of her songs seemed to be written during "crazy periods" of her life.

We left early. I looked at Becky and she was not feeling it and I was like...let's get the hell out of here. She concurred and we left, BUT not before we were snaking our way through the crowd and I felt someone's hand go down the center of my back and then two hads firmly grab both of my ass cheeks. I turned around and it was a 13 year old girl. I was like...NO Ma'am!

Moral of the story, don't waste your money on Fergie concerts, or Fergie downloads. Steal the songs from the net somewhere or get them from your friends, because NEVER THAT!